Bereavement and grief are among the most emotionally wrenching experiences a human being can endure. Bereavement refers to the process of recovering from the death of a loved one, and grief is a reaction to any form of separation or loss. One may grieve the loss of a person, a relationship, a pet, a job, independence, or anything that was felt to be of meaning or value to the person. Both may encompass a wide range of complicated and sometimes confusing emotions such as fear, anger and deep, deep sadness. Bereavement is not the same as depression, although depression may result from prolonged or complicated bereavement.
The process of adapting to a loss, and the experience of the loss, can be very different from person to person, depending on his or her background, values, beliefs, circumstances of the loss, and the nature of the relationship to the person who has passed away. Other factors may complicate the bereavement process as well. For example, suicide survivors, those whose loved one died a sudden, violent or unexpected death, and those who had experienced conflict or maltreatment in their relationship with the departed may have particular difficulty coping with their grief.
Common symptoms of grief can be physical, emotional or social.
A few common symptoms in these categories are:
Physical
- Crying and sighing
- Headaches
- Loss of appetite
- Difficulty sleeping
- Weakness
- Fatigue
Emotional
- Feelings of deep and profound sadness
- Feeling of intense longing and yearning for the deceased
- Feelings of worry, fear, or anger
- Feelings of frustration or guilt
Social
- Feeling detached and alienated from others
- Self-isolation from social contact
- Behaving in ways that are not normal for you
Every grieving experience is different. A person may be able to continue their day-to-day routine after one loss, yet not be able to get out of bed after the loss of someone else. A grieving person needs a lot of emotional support. Bereavement and grief may lead to feelings of detachment and isolation from others, as many grieving persons express the feeling that others cannot understand what they are going through. Despite the universal human experience of loss, in our society grief is often an uncomfortable topic, as those who wish to be helpful and supportive may not know what to say or how to act in the presence of a grieving person.
Coping with the grief of pet loss.
The loss of a pet can be devastating, and many pet owners find the grief associated with the loss of a pet just as or even more challenging than the loss of human loved ones. People who do not experience the deep love and companionship of a pet find this difficult to understand and may not be able to validate the experience of the person who is grieving. Our animal companions love us unconditionally, they know our secrets, and they are dependent on us, kind of like our “furry children.” Because the loss of a pet is not experienced in the same universal way that we experience the loss of a human in our lives, pet parents often feel isolated and misunderstood during their grief. When a pet passes away, only those who love animals a great deal and regard them as members of the family understand the magnitude of this event. The universal sense of support that we find helpful in times of human loss and bereavement can be starkly lacking when a pet departs. This lack of universal empathy is one of several reasons why pet bereavement can pose unique challenges.
Whatever your loss, human or animal, or whatever your personal symptoms are, grief and bereavement counseling have been proven to help. I have experienced multiple losses in my own life, and these personal grief experiences have informed my work with grieving clients. If you are experiencing distressing thoughts, behaviors, or feelings related to a death or loss of any kind, please contact me today for a free consultation.